When Jonah Falcon,the man with the world's largest penis, asked me this question the phone, i had no right to be shocked.
After all, I've been a weird news reporter for more than a decade, and I'm the one who called him up asking for an interview. Still, I couldn't help but feel just a little queasy.
The last time I interviewed a man about his pecker, it was John Wayne Bobbitt, the man who had his junk sliced off by his wife, whom he allegedly abused.
Poor Lorena chucked that penis out a car window. It was found and surgically reattached. A jury acquitted Lorena at the infamous "weenie whacking trial" months later, and John turned himself into a national joke.
I caught up with the man just after he'd undergone penis lengthening surgery because he underwhelmed audiences in his first porno flick, John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut.
The medical procedure did little to make his next effort, Frankenpenis, a bigger success. But at the time, Bobbitt was ecstatic over his artificial enhancement.
"I'm as big and wide as a can of Foster's beer," he bragged.
"Congratulations, John," I told him. "Your penis is now completely useless."
This loser would go on to work as a $50,000-a-year greeter at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, Nevada's largest house of prostitution. He'd then get fired for being a general screw-up, and face further charges for beating other women who made the mistake of dating him.
As Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof told me, Bobbitt is "a nice, pleasant person with absolutely no brain."